Viv’s Glow Up Diaries #1

Happy Wednesday everyone!! I hope you’re all well. I’m going to start off every one of my glow up diaries with:

How are you guys? How is school/work? How’s your mental health?

Okay, let’s get into it!!

My mental health used to be really bad. I have really bad anxiety, and to this day I still struggle with it. A few years ago I would never have imagined I could ever be happy with myself ever again, but I am happy with who I am and I’ve learnt to love myself.

My family situation was really tough, it took a huge toll on my mental health and my grades were dropping because I couldn’t focus. I used music as an escape and I became obsessed with it. Playing the piano was the only way I could escape reality, I would just play my feelings. I was constantly tired, my brain was constantly overthinking everything and I was so tired. So tired from the thoughts that were running through my head at 100mph. It was draining. I slept every chance I got and I would go out every opportunity I got. I knew I needed to study, I wanted to study because my grades is the only thing that really mattered to me. I really thought it would solve my problems, but whenever I sat down to study, my mind would be filled with thoughts that was really damaging, I really thought it was better that I was dead so I could end all the pain. But it was really selfish of me, because what about all the other people who cared about me? What would happen to them? I couldn’t just leave them like that, I couldn’t bear myself to. I had really good friends like Sairah who helped me through it. I never used to take care of myself either. I was always dehydrated, I would never eat a lot because I end up feeling sick because of my anxiety. My body subconsciously contracts my stomach when my anxiety kicks in and after a few hours I’d have a really bad stomach ache, just like how you get muscle cramps after exercising, but I would constantly feel like I need to vomit.

I realised I needed to change. I hated the person I was, and I wanted to change my mindset and change the way that I was living. It started with small changes:

  1. Drink 2 litres of water every day
  2. Do whatever made me happy
  3. Start writing in a diary about my day, both good and bad
  4. Let things go, I had to let the past go. I live in the present, and although it was so hard because it kept coming back, I managed to block it out most days, but I didn’t have much luck on bad days.
  5. Spend time with my friends. They make me so happy, I was so lucky to have them. I didn’t know what I was going to do if I ever lose them, and I hope I never will. We got each other through the darkest times. I was a person who was good at giving advice, but I could never follow them myself.

Hope you all enjoyed the first one of my glow-up series. I hope this has helped some of you!!

Lots of Love

Good Luck

-Vivian

7 thoughts on “Viv’s Glow Up Diaries #1

  1. I also suffer from an anxiety issue, up to the same level that even I feel like vomiting and a headache!!!! Trying to live in a present but yeah one can only try 💖💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hope it gets better for you soon 🥺🥺 keep pushing through it !!🤍

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry about the anxiety thing but so happy that you’re a lot happier now!!! Good job♥️ loved the post xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww so sweet thank you so much !!🥺🤍

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Aw I’m so glad that things are much better for you Vivian! I’m so sorry that you had to go through that but you’re so fortunate to have amazing friends like Sairah that are there to help you! 🤍

    Like

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